Writers' Block - the Saga Continues *sigh*

I'm about to be having a serious breakdown now and it's all due to It Takes Two to Tango.

How can you not be worried when you have 128 amazing people waiting for you to make your next move and 73 more anticipating you to deliver your best? Put yourself in my place and see how you'd feel.

No! No! It has nothing to do with that kind of Tango - though I seriously envied these people who could dance so gracefully yet aggresively at the same time (well, not that I want to dance though).

I was talking about It Takes Two to Tango, a story I'd been writing since August last year. A story based on the Supernatural TV series that I wrote - about the adult Dean and Sam taking care of their younger selves (the picture will explain a bit if not everything. Don't ask 'cos I'll never be able to explain...if you're interested, click on the link) - a fanfiction.

Yep! You heard it right, fanfiction. I see no wrongs in writing fanfictions though to some people it might sound absurd. I love a certain TV series, and I love writing...them combined together - BAM!! - I got fanfiction. So what's wrong about loving certain things?

I'd been deeply involved in FanFiction.Net since 2003 writing for an anime. Back then my language was a total flop. But that handicap didn't stop me until later I became a member of the Student Council in my Uni. My life was turned upside down due to the work burden what more my passion for writing and anime. So after two years devotedly sending stories to FFNet, I stopped.

I backed off for 6 years, until one day I got so bored I started looking for interesting sites on the net. And I was stuck to Supernatural TV, a site dedicated for Supernatural TV series (I don't have to explain further...I bet most of you know this series ^_^) I fell madly in love with the series and somehow I managed to find myself an excellent fanfiction written by EFW, He's Ain't Heavy He's My Brother in my old beloved site, the FFNet.

Revisiting the site was like walking down the memory lane. To see my old fics again, still being read by fans of the same anime, in English that I'd say is a complete chaos, I smiled like a dork. A lot had changed since then.

Instead of writing for the same anime, I started writing for Supernatural. Yep! Dean and Sam Winchester, starting with Brothers in Arms (which is completed after six exhilarating months) I got addicted after receiving encouraging reviews and comments from the readers and writers on the site. But that didn't start immediately upon my return to the site. I started with reading the fics from SPN fandom, orientating myself with the essence of the series, indulging in the portrayal of the characters and finding the guts to start writing - which took 6 incredible months.

The day I posted my first SPN story to the site is still vivid in my mind. My heart was pounding - almost like exploding - as I waited for the feedback. I didn't feel as such when I wrote for Saiyuki. I guess it was because most of the writers in SPN fandoms are natives of English (I'd proudly say I am the only writer from Malaysia...I think). Majority of them come from Europe, Canada, the USA and other English speaking regions. What terrified me the most was my competency in English grammar. I am an English teacher but pardon me, English is still my second language and to err is human.

So when I got my first feedback and it was so much positive - followed by the rest which were awesome - there was no going back. I wrote and haven't stopped since then (I even wrote 3 short stories while writing my long one and all of them received amazing reviews - thanks to my supportive girls and boys too)

After a month of grammatical turmoil, I finally got myself a beta, Sabine Werner (as in the photo) - who'd been real generous with her reviews for most of my stories, who supportively edited my stories without complain. And with her help I proudly say I flourished.

From then on, we become fast friends and sisters. She encouraged me to join the E/O challenge, 100 words stories challenge which is a phenomenon in the fandom, which I was addicted to - it really sharpened your thinking skill. She's gentle with her comments but at the same time solid. A great teacher I'd say.

Trust me, if you know her you too will immediately fall in love with her charm and kindness. She's one of the gentlest and kindest souls that had ever crossed my path. She introduced me to the world of Cal Lendros and continued my passion for reading (of course she elevated my love to SPN ten thousand folds - LOL). Enough said, I gladly called her big sis...and I am grateful for that. She's a big sister that I never had.

Then through her I met Rebecca aka Becka along her loveable and adorable Cookie. These two are a joy to my life. Becka is always energetic and bubbly. It is hard not to smile every time I spoke to her (more like wrote) though I was feeling like hell that time from whatever that was disrupting my mind. This girl is having a hard time, maybe throughout her entire life, but that does't stop her from shining like the sun. Becka is my reminder - that life should be lived to the fullest no matter how hard it could be, because there's always someone with a worse fate out there and might not be as lucky as we are. Having this positive minded girl in my heart, the dark clouds never dared hover on top of me.

These two girls are angels by my side. I couldn't love them more.

Okay, talking about these two amazing girls really lifted my mood and I think that breakdown I'm about to have just now had went into the drain.

Friendship really comes from amazing and even the weirdest times and places.