'The Question' that makes me want to rip someone's head off


Of many questions in this world, there is One that I hate the most. Man, I seriously hate it I feel like knocking the questioner in the jaw!

"Kak Hairi bila lagi?"


"Ko bila nak kawen Hairi?"


"Bila lagi?"


"Teacher bila nak kawen?"

Okay, maybe not one question but still they are basically the same. This post deserves to be written in Malay, but I'm going to refrain myself from doing so because I know the end result wouldn't be nice, literally. There will be a lot of swearings, hate words and curses - I will not stoop so low by doing this.

You know what? I don't care when I'm getting married anymore because I've given all my trust to Allah, letting Him to decide my future. Yes! I used to feel insecured before, but now I really don't care! Heck! I wont even cry now if Allah has decided that I am not to get married for the rest of my life because if that what He wants for me, who am I to deny Him?

Bukankah Jodoh, Rezeki dan Maut itu di tangan Allah? (I'm using Malay because I couldn't describe this better in English) Who are we to decide except to work hard towards bettering it? Don't you think when you're asking the questions "Bila lagi?" and "Bila you nak kahwin?" it's like you're asking me to play God? As if I know what my future beholds?

Even if the exact date of my marriage have been decided, how will I know if it will last? Who can say that nothing will happen before the wedding day or even during the day itself?

Yes, I longed for someone to love me. I longed to love someone. I longed to carry a child within me. I longed to have a family, who will take care of me when I couldn't take care of myself anymore. But I didn't write fate. I didn't decide my future. I didn't have any power to make everything happen the way I want.

What is it with you people? Don't you know when and how to shut up? Why it bothers you so much that I'm not yet married? I'm not in any way interested with your son or husband, or you if you're a man. When I refused to answer you, or when I answered nonchalantly, you speculated that perhaps my boyfriend has another girl and that he is taking his sweet little time for himself. Do you know how that made me feel, listening to all your shitty speculations?

And if you don't know that I'm, though single, is no more available, you'd drag me to a corner and recommend a man that you know who will make me happy. Oh! You're playing God now? Who are you to guarantee happiness? Truthfully, tell me, how many of you are happy with your marriage anyway?

Please! Please stop all this play-God stuff because I'm sick of it. Totally sick of it! I really don't know the answer to all your senseless questions. Period! You better back away before I really rip your head off.

A girl can only take so much.

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